Hello Piglets! It’s been a minute since I posted; we’ve had a lot going on – and a new addition to the family – in the last couple weeks, so I haven’t had chance to sit and write. There’ll be more on that in a later post, so keep your eyes open for that!
When it rains, we bake!
Back to today’s post; this is my easy, fail proof recipe for light and fluffy cupcakes. Honestly it really does work every single time! As with a lot of my recipes, it’s easy to customise and add different flavours and fillings to your batter, so your options are endless. So, if you want perfect bouncy cupcakes every single time then read on!
Ingredients and Equipment.
175g softened butter/margarine.
175g caster sugar.
175g self raising flour.
1.5 tsp baking powder.
3 large eggs, room temperature.
2 tbsp milk.
1 tsp vanilla extract.
1 x 12 hole muffin pan with cases.
1 large mixing bowl.
1 whisk.
2 spoons (for putting batter in cases)
Method.
Preheat your oven to 180c, 160c fan, gas mark 4 and put one of the shelves in the middle. Line your muffin pan with paper/silicone cases and set to one side.
Grab your mixing bowl and dump your butter/margarine and sugar in there. Using your whisk, beat the ingredients together until light and fluffy.
Add in your eggs one at a time, whisking them thoroughly inbetween. With your last egg, add the milk, vanilla extract and a spoonful of flour. Whisk until fully combined.
Pour in your flour and baking powder, then whisk the shit out of it! Whisk whisk whisk, until your batter is smooth and light and fully combined.
Fill your cases about two thirds full with batter, then place your tin in the oven. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until golden and well risen and a skewer test comes out clean.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the tin for five minutes. Turn out onto a cooling rack and leave to cool fully, before adding any frosting/toppings/fillings to fancy!
Mmmmmm cupcakes…..
The possibilities are endless.
You can add pretty much whatever variations you can think of to this basic batter mixture! For example; to make chocolate cupcakes, swap out 25g of the flour for cocoa powder. Then add chocolate chips, and some mini marshmallows, and frosting and….. you get the idea. Whatever you come up with as an idea, you can probably achieve it with this recipe as a foundation.
As always, do let me know if you have a crack at making these delicious cakes. If you’re on Instagram, please give me a follow and tag me if you share any pictures of your creations. And of course, do tell me what you think of these bouncy, fail proof cupcakes!
Hey Piglets, I hope you’re all as safe and well as you can be! I have no idea what day it is, how long we have been in quarantine or what I’m supposed to be doing today…. so what else is new? 😂 Anyways, today I wanted to write about how we’re managing the lockdown as a couple; it’s not easy to make time for each other in the chaos of teenagers, homeschooling, housework, studying and everything else but it’s something we are working really hard on. So I figured why not share our ideas, and see if you have any suggestions of your own! Sharing is caring right?
Planning is Sexy.
Okay, well maybe the act of planning isn’t going to get you hot and bothered (unless it does, in which case no judging!) but being realistic about your time and commitments is a good idea. If you know how much you’ve got going on every day, you’ll find it easier to make time for getting it on!
We have (lazy) teenage kids, three cats, a garden and a home to keep up with. Eddie has his college work, writing, art work and counselling to juggle. I am doing most of the home education stuff with Owain, as well as my own projects and writing. Plus I just signed up online to a couple of courses that I’m super looking forward to – but more on that in a future post. We’re not as busy as some folks are in the lockdown thankfully, but we do have to be careful with our time in order to make sure we can prioritise being together.
Make it work for you.
Whether your only spare moment in the day is when your baby has a long nap, or getting the kids to bed at night is when you have some breathing space – you can carve out some time for each other. And once you find that gap in the busyness of the daily grind; trust me, you’ll protect it like an angry Mama Goose!
Our protected time together looks like this;
We sit together for coffee/breakfast every morning for about 30 minutes. This is where we talk about the day ahead, anything that is bothering us or stuff we need to address. It’s a time for us to check in with each other as well as make sure we’re on the same page with kids/house/life stuff.
Every Thursday evening we have a designated “Date Night” from 7pm onwards. We take it in turns to plan this for each other on a week by week basis and it’s something we look forward to and protect every week. Even if I’m really struggling with my health, I still try to make an effort for Date Night.
Throughout the day; I make a point of giving Eddie a hug, or squeezing his arm as I pass, or a quick peck on the cheek. Physical affection is super important to him, so I try to make sure he gets lots of it!
Each evening before we do our own things (usually bed early for me, gaming or movies for him) we make sure we have a big hug and loads of kisses. If there’s been any tension or annoyance between us we sort it out fully, apologising if needed, so that peace can be fully restored again.
What is this “Quality Time” of which you speak?
It’s worth mentioning here that “quality time” is not just a euphemism for sex – come on, don’t be coy, you know what I’m talking about 😉 every one I know – especially folks with children – uses a cheeky euphemism once in a while!
Quality time means something that shows you value your partner and your relationship. This may look like a deep conversation, playing a game together, spending time holding hands on the sofa, planning an activity to do together and so on. It can be as simple as a chat in the garden over coffee, or as fancy as a candle lit bubble bath for two. It’s all about the intention, the thought and time you put into it for one another.
Backyards can be romantic too!
Of course that’s going to include sex too at some point or other; sex is an important part of any healthy romantic relationship, developing trust and intimacy between partners and strengthening the connection they share. It’s not the be all and end all though!
But we already spend all day together now, why bother?
I get it. You’re stuck at home together pretty much 24/7. You see each other now more than you have ever done before. Why make the effort to have even more time together?
It’s a perfectly valid question and the only way I can answer it is with my own experience. As you know, my health isn’t great and so my husband Eddie is my Carer as well. He helps me with everything, all day every day. He helps me get dressed, have a shower, even go to the loo. He does stuff that I can’t manage. He is brilliant. And as much as this demonstrates exactly how much he must love me, it makes it hard to maintain the “romance” part of our marriage!
Candle making was a fun, creative date!
We already spent every day together before lockdown, so we have had a while to learn how to manage it. Before we prioritised our time together, we both felt like each day was the same and our relationship began to deteriorate. We got on each other’s nerves, we found faults and nit picked and bickered. We stopped making the effort. Our sex life suffered, our emotional connection wobbled, our parenting wasn’t as great as we wanted it to be….
Making the time to be together properly felt like drawing a line in the sand for us both; it was a declaration of how important we are to one another as partners, as lovers, as husband and wife. Since intentionally spending this time together our relationship has deepened and grown so much stronger. It’s brought back the balance we were missing.
Since the Covid-19 outbreak and subsequent quarantine measures, we’ve found that this protected time together is more important than ever. Before, we would have time through most days while the kids were out at college or with their mates. Now they are here every moment of every day, and it’s made the time we can spend together feel even more precious!
17 years married and we still like each other!
I am pretty sure that the reason our marriage is so strong is because we make time for one another. Time is literally the most precious commodity in the Universe; choosing to give that time to your lover, instead of using it elsewhere, is a huge deal.
Date night silliness! Pampering is fun!
If it worked for us, I am certain it can work for you too! Whatever your circumstances – however busy you are or how hectic your home life may be – making a little bit of time to spend with your partner is possible for everyone. It will make you both feel better, which will have a positive knock on effect in every other area of your life.
Now it’s over to you; how do you make time for your relationship? Do you have any fun quarantine date night ideas for me? Maybe you’re planning to make “quality time” an important part of your schedule now? I’d love to hear from you, either in the comments below or via my Instagram @wholly_dee
As I’ve touched on it previously, you’ll be aware that my health isn’t the best. I don’t want to get into the long and complicated diagnoses and details – it’s not anyone else’s business – so let’s just say my body won’t do what most others do without effort. My mind, too, is not the same either. It would be a great big lie to say it’s been easy adapting to my “new normal” (gods that’s a saying we’re all rabbiting at the moment!) but after almost 6 years, I’m finally learning to listen. My body and brain let me know what they need and when – but for the longest time I’ve ignored them both.
Acceptance isn’t Surrender.
So much of the rhetoric in the disability and chronic illness community is – in my opinion – quite harmful. We’re “warriors“, we “battle ourselves“, we “keep fighting” and so on. I find it unhelpful and upsetting; I can’t fight my own body or mind, surely that’s going to be more damaging? I’m a pacifist anyways, so why would I go to war with my own flesh?
Letting go of this idea of being “a warrior” was a huge breakthrough moment for me. I’d got it all twisted up in my head – accepting my condition meant I was giving in to it, I was abandoning my life and allowing it to beat me. What a load of bollocks! Releasing myself from this battle mindset has brought me far more progress than I ever made before!
Everyone these days talks about self love, self care and so on; how can you love and care for something if you ignore it, fight it and punish it? Having a bath or a face mask isn’t going to make any difference at all when you’re being so destructive to yourself.
Calling a Ceasefire.
Accepting one’s limitations – disabled or not – is like calling a ceasefire within yourself. It’s the first step towards having real peace, a time for you to take stock of what’s going on in side of you and start figuring out a way forward.
I’ve been learning to accept what my body can and cannot do and I’m trying to avoid becoming frustrated and upset when things don’t go the way I want. Don’t get me wrong, I still get really pissed of and angry with myself! But I’m happy to say those bursts of irritation are fewer and farther apart. It’s a daily decision and sometimes I make the wrong one.
For example; I love being outside, surrounded by nature and away from human noise and mess. It’s so good for me, it feels like food for my soul! I’m really lucky to live in a place where the wild is a short walk away….. although sometimes that short walk is unachievable. I would get so upset and frustrated that I couldn’t make that journey to the end of the street; I would rage at myself, then become really upset, then that would make me feel worse because of all the energy those feelings used up, meaning it would be even longer until I could get out! Now, I make the most of what I can do; I go sit in my backyard and look up at the trees on the hill near my home. I listen to the birds and watch the wind blowing the leaves. If the noise of the neighbours bugs me, I pop my headphones on and listen to an audiobook or podcast or even nature recordings. It’s not perfect, but it still does wonders for my mental wellbeing and ultimately means I can get to the meadow much quicker!
Poisonous Positivity.
I’m not going to bang on the “think positive” drum! While having a positive outlook can help generally with your emotional and physical wellbeing, it’s not a cure all. It can actually make things worse in the long run.
Refusing to acknowledge when life is hard – when you’re in pain and struggling – is harmful. Brainwashing yourself into believing “it’s all fine, everything is awesome” when your world is falling apart is unbelievably unhealthy. Looking on the bright side won’t cure you of chronic illness.
One of the most insulting things I’ve ever been told is “Maybe if you tried to think more positively, you’d get well again”. This is TOXIC POSITIVITY and it’s a load of bullshit. That’s not what I’m talking about.
Real acceptance means understanding that sometimes it’s shit. Sometimes life sucks, sometimes the pain is too much; sitting with those feelings of sadness and anger, processing them and acknowledging them is healthy and much better for you than pushing them down or locking them away!
Every journey starts with one step.
Maybe you’re reading this and a light bulb has pinged on in your head; “That’s me, I’m waging war on myself and it’s making me worse!” But you don’t know how to stop, you’ve been told to fight hard never give up. That accepting is weakness, that all you need is to keep going and have faith and never quit and one day you’ll have the life back you had before…
I see you, I get it, I was you.
The first step is the hardest. I know it’s a cliche but it really is; actually looking at yourself and acknowledging all the pain and pressure you’re putting yourself through isn’t a pleasant experience. Letting go of that ingrained warrior mindset is a daily choice; choosing to listen to what your mind and body is trying to tell you feels like starting to learn a new language from scratch! It’s difficult, and you will make mistakes.
I get it wrong every day. Whenever a new symptom pops up I lose my shit all over again! It takes me ages to accept another thing going wrong with me, so please don’t think I’ve got this on lock. I really haven’t!
Making mistakes, fucking it up, failing…. it’s how you learn. It’s okay to get it wrong. It’s not okay to give up trying to get it right! For me, being more tolerant and accepting of myself is very much two steps forward and one back; it’s a long bumpy road filled with potholes and I don’t have a map, I’m trying to walk in flip flops and I forgot my water bottle! It’s learning to do something I’ve never been shown how to do. It’s unlearning all the stuff that’s been drummed into me ever since I can remember.
It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.
I hope that sharing this has encouraged someone – even just one person – to begin to make peace with themselves. That would be a successful blog post in my book! If you’re that person, please do let me know. I’d love to keep in touch and see how you go on!
Take care Piglets, you’re all loved so very much xx
The planet is dying. There is literally no other way to say it; whether you believe what you read/see on the news or not, we cannot deny that things are getting out of hand and our home is in trouble. We have done this, so now we have to do better. I don’t think it’s fair to put all the responsibility on the average person (don’t get me started on disability discrimination and the plastic straw ban) as for real, lasting change to be achieved there needs to be a complete paradigm shift across the globe! However, we can all take steps to reduce our impact on the earth – and it doesn’t need to cost a fortune. Here are 5 Cheap and Easy Ways to Low Waste Living that we’ve taken on at home.
Paper Free Kitchen.
There are no kitchen rolls in my kitchen! The only paper product we use occasionally is toilet paper – because my cats are idiots who like to poop on the floor now and then. I wish I could tell you my drawers are packed full of colour coordinated, hand stitched cloths but they’re not. Here’s my cloth box to prove it! The cloths we use are inexpensive options bought from places like B&M, Home Bargains and our local market – hard wearing, easy to wash and long lasting. We grabbed a set of four cloth napkins from a charity shop a couple weeks ago for £2 too; in fact they’re probably the fanciest fabrics in the kitchen! Next time you go shopping, instead of spending a couple quid on paper for the bin, why not see how many dishcloths you can get instead?
My cloth box. Told you, it’s not very fancy!
Clean Cleaning.
Most cleaning products come in plastic bottles labelled with unpronounceable chemicals and scary warnings about your health and aquatic life. Not very eco-friendly eh? We have all used them, we probably all have them in the cupboards too. I’m not saying go and throw it all out immediately – instead work through what you have, then wash out and save your spray bottles for making your own products instead! White vinegar is literally cheaper than chips and it’s an incredible cleaning liquid. Lemon juice (yes even the kind you squeeze on your pancakes) is natural and powerful on stains, grease and it shines up stainless steel like a dream. Bicarbonate of soda (yes the one you put in cakes) is a dream cleaning ingredient! For the price of replacing just two of your usual cleaners you can buy enough vinegar, lemons and bicarb to do your whole house. Repeatedly.
Swap To Soap.
This one is easy and so cheap it’s unbelievable. making the change from using plastic bottled shower gel, hand wash and shampoo has reduced our waste massively AND the amount of chemicals in our homes/on our skin/washing down the drains. Bar soap can be easily found in most supermarkets, pound shops and the like. Shampoo bars are more and more readily available and do not need to cost a fortune either – the bar we use costs £4.50 and lasts my husband and I about 3 months. Once you’ve worked through all of your products, replace them with bars instead. Saving money and saving the planet!
Bar Soaps are beautiful and cost effective swaps for bottles!
Cans Not Bottles.
Aluminium is infinitely recyclable, whereas plastic can only be recycled once. Most drinks come in cans as well as plastic bottles; my son loves sports drinks ad we recently discovered they come in cans too! If you like fizzy drinks and that kind of thing, next time pick up a can instead. The planet (and your body) will thank you for it!
Buy Second Hand.
I’m a bargain hunter, you all know it and I’m proud to say the majority of our furniture, clothes and appliances are second hand! My daughter is a whiz at charity shop trawling, my husband and son have keen eyes that spot amazing deals at the flea market and I am always thinking of ways to make more of hat we have already. I can’t afford to buy new, ethically made clothes and furniture all the time for my family; so instead we try to give things that have been discarded/donated a new lease of life or we make our own. Charity shops are awesome places if you just have a little patience, eBay is full of second hand bargains as is Gumtree and Facebook Marketplace. It’s easier than ever to buy second hand!
A junk shop find, made over with a little paint and patience.
I know all of these things can seem a bit simple and obvious; when we were starting on our road to less waste we began by feeling completely overwhelmed and inadequate because we couldn’t afford to buy four sets of bamboo cutlery (yeah I know, daft right). Very few of us have the resources to live an Instagram-able low waste life with all the gadgets and accessories – but we can all find ways to refuse, reduce, reuse, recycle and rot in our own homes right?
Do you have any easy, cheap low waste living hacks for me? I would love to hear what tips and tricks you have come across!
In my launch giveaway over on Instagram I asked people what they wanted to write about. Quite a few of the suggestions were quite personal requests, so I thought insted of trying to write a genral post to answer them, I could do it like an Agony Aunt kinda thing. Anyone remember those from magazines back in the day? Are they still a thing? Anyhoo, here’s my first “letter” and reply. I have made up a name for the person, to protect their identity and also because it made me smile a little!
*I’m not a qualified expert in anything, so any advice I can give will be purely from my own experiences and must be taken as such*
Dearest Dee, Like you; I am a small business owner who works from home, I also am quite poorly and have several fur-babies to care for. I am struggling to keep my home clean and tidy. I often feel overwhelmed by the mess, but the sheer size of the task ahead of me is terrifying. I want to get organised and sort it out – I just don’t know where to start! How do you manage to keep your home tidy and clutter free with so little energy? I am also sensitive to a lot of chemicals/strong fragrances, so any cleaning products you can suggest would be very helpful. Lots of love, The Sexy Stitchy Siren xxx
I understand totally where this person is coming from! The reality is anyone at any time can feel overwhelmed by the task of keeping a home – so to start with I just want to say that if you’re reading this and you feel this way, you are not a failure! It’s just housekeeping, don’t give it a pedestal to sit on okay?
It sounds to me like you have been trying to keep on top of it; but now it’s got to the point where it’s out of hand and you don’t know where to start, and the stress of it all is causing you to freeze. So to begin with, I suggest starting small. Tidying and de-cluttering are very popular at the moment – there seems to be a new show about a different method every single day – but not everyone has the capacity to de-junk their home in a week! If I attempted it, it would take me a fortnight to recover and then I’d be right back to the start again. So small, manageable steps every day are the key to taking back your home from the mess monsters.
Getting started.
Out of all the rooms you want to clear, pick the one that feels the most doable to you. Maybe it’s your bedroom, or bathroom? Whichever you choose is great. Next up, pick a place to start; I usually start with cupboards/shelves as it helps me to see results straight away but it’s up to you. Wherever you choose, the first step is emptying it out! Get all the stuff off/out/away from it then give it a good clean – it may need to be thoroughly dusted or wiped out depending on what it is – and make sure it’s dried thoroughly. Then begin putting things back; as you do this, really pay attention to your stuff and ask these questions
When was the last time I used this? If the answer is more than 6 months ago it needs to go (with the exception of seasonal items)
Do I have more than one of these?If the answer is yes, and you don’t need more than one, then pick just one to stay and let the others go.
Do I need/like this?If the answer is remotely no, then let it go. Don’t be tempted to keep stuff that you might possibly use sometime! Chuck it!
I would suggest setting yourself a realistic timescale to complete each room. This can be tailored to your needs, depending on how well you are or how busy you are generally. A good guide is a week for a room. Cleaning as you go will make a difference, and developing a daily routine will have a knock on effect for the rest of your home!
Banishing the Mess Monsters forever!
Once the clutter is gone and things feel more under control, it’s all about a little bit every day. I adore the The Organised Mum Method because it provides an easy to follow routine with cleaning free weekends! Do head to her website, and check out her Instagram and Facebook page because she’s a star and the community is fabulous.
Getting the cleaning down is only half of it; during the tidying up phase you will have given away/chucked out lots of unnecessary stuff and you should hopefully have more space! The temptation can be to fill that space up immediately with more things but I would advise strongly against it – after all you already proved you don’t need so many things, so why start gathering again? Try applying the questions listed above to whenever you want to buy something – I guarantee that most of the time you’ll be able to leave it behind!
I’m going to write a more extensive post about how we make our own cleaning products at home in future, but for now I suggest you gather the following bits and bobs together to begin building your “clean cleaning kit”
Essential Oils – Lemon, Tea Tree, Rosemary & Lavender are good
Lemons
Rubber Gloves
Scouring Pads
Vodka – the cheaper the better (not for drowning your sorrows)
I’ve linked the products I buy from Amazon if you’d like to check them out, but feel free to shop around and give me a shout if you find some better bargains! Before you start throwing out all your old cleaning products, I urge you to either a) use them up if you can and b) save the bottles and spray caps where possible. A shocking amount of plastic from cleaning products heads straight to landfill every year and it’s unavoidable! A good soak in hot soapy water and a thorough rinse means you’ve got a clean spray bottle for your homemade cleaning products that will last a long time – isn’t it better we use these plastics as much as possible before they have to go in the bin?
I hope that I’ve answered the question properly for anyone reading this who struggles with cleaning their home. Before I got sick I was a super housewife with immaculate skirting boards and carpet with hoover lines going one way – so it’s taken me a while to adjust to learning to clean slowly! Ultimately, your mental well-being and self worth is paramount in all of this; achieving something positive each and every day will help you no end, but should never become a stick to beat yourself with!
Do you struggle with your home? What tips and tricks have you found to cope? Please comment below and share your wisdom!
Since I adopted a more plant-based lifestyle, I’ve had to go right back to basics with my baking. Believe me, there have been some absolute disasters, so bad even my sweet-toothed cat Fred wouldn’t bother with them! I’ve been hunting for the perfect vegan vanilla cupcakes recipe for ages – I got into baking years ago because of a huge love affair with the beautiful little treats – but the ones I made didn’t come out well. Heavy doughy bases, or grainy oily frosting; sometimes the cupcakes wouldn’t rise at all, sometimes they would explode but never cook off! Some of the recipes called for ridiculous ingredients that I had to scour the aisles of health food shops for, ingredients that cost a fortune and tasted vile. Would I ever eat an edible cupcake again?
After tinkering and tasting, mixing and measuring, plus a whole lot of muttering to myself and imploring the baking gods…… I struck gold! Or should I say light, fluffy yellow? The perfect Vegan Vanilla Cupcakes Recipe. A beautifully soft vanilla flavoured cupcake topped with rich – but not heavy – vanilla frosting, well risen and perfectly edible with no ridiculous ingredients and no hefty price tag. The Holy Grail of cupcakes, from which I can make most other flavours, has been found. And it’s so absurdly easy, even my kids could make them while staring at their phones and shouting at each other!
Ingredients & Method
For the cupcakes;
250g Plain Flour
200g Caster Sugar
240ml Plant Milk (I use oat milk for baking, but any is fine)
100ml Sunflower Oil
1tsp Baking Powder
1tsp Bicarbonate of Soda
1tsp Vanilla Extract
1tbsp White Vinegar (yep I know it’s weird, but go with it!)
12 hole muffin tin, lined with paper/silicone cases
Preheat your oven to 180c and move your shelf to the middle. Place all your dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl and using a fork or a whisk, mix together thoroughly then set aside. In a separate bowl or jug mix together your plant milk, oil, vanilla extract and vinegar – you need to keep stirring it until it begins to thicken up, this is going to act as the “egg” in your cakes. Once thickened up, slowly and thoroughly whisk the wet mixture into the dry. Make sure you have no clumps of flour left – ain’t nobody got time for that! Quickly portion the batter into your prepared cases, pop in the oven and bake for about 15-20 mins (depends on your oven, mine either incinerates everything or leaves it raw) until well risen and slightly golden, and they pass the skewer test. Let them cool in the tin for a few minutes, then place on a cooling rack and leave to go completely cold.
For the frosting;
570g Icing Sugar
115g Dairy Free Margarine (I love Vitalite cos it’s cheap!)
115g Vegetable Shortening (It’s like the vegan version of lard. I use TREX, but a lot of supermarkets do their own brand version)
0.5tsp Vanilla Extract
Now it’s elbow grease time – unless you have an electric mixer like me – so roll up your sleeves and flex! In a large bowl, beat the margarine and vegetable shortening until it is soft and completely combined. Next; using a sieve, sift a quarter of your icing sugar into the bowl then thoroughly beat it in. Keep repeating this process, but add the vanilla extract with the last dose of icing sugar. Check the consistency – if it’s too runny you can add more sugar, if it’s too hard add a tiny splash of plant milk – making sure it’s firm but soft and fluffy. Nobody likes tough frosting! If you want to, you can add food colouring to jazz it up, or even lightly fold in some sprinkles. Whatever, go nuts…. oh nuts would work too haha!
If you have one/want to/know how to use a piping bag to decorate the tops of your cold cupcakes. They will have a hefty amount of frosting! Then finish off with any decorations you fancy – I used vegan salted caramel chunks for mine and they were AWESOME.
Think of all the possibilities…
Once I got this basic vanilla version down, my vegan cupcake game was on fire! You can mix it up, adding different flavourings and additions to make your cupcake dreams a reality. I’m currently fantasizing about an Oreo chocolate version with an actual Oreo baked in, and chunks of the biscuit through the topping That sounds blooming orgasmic to me!
Do let me know if you decide to make your own; I’d love to hear what you think, and what inspiring variations you manage to concoct! Cupcakes are LIFE.
It’s the first day of April and the first day of my new look blog! Thank you so much for popping by; I’ve been working away on this whole re-branding of my site and trying to find my focus since the beginning of 2019, so as you can imagine this is a big deal for me. It’s taken a lot of time, energy, coffee and tantrums to make it this far – at time’s I thought I would never be able to say…. “And we’re off!”
An unlikely beginning.
The first time I thought about writing a lifestyle blog, I was standing in a field at 5am. My husband Eddie was suffering from really awful hay-fever and as a consequence, his usually loud snoring had become deafening and I hadn’t been able to sleep for a few days. So in my semi-delirious state I put my wellies on over my pajamas, popped some sharp scissors in my basket with some rubber gloves and set out to harvest Nettles for a tonic. Bending over a patch of stinging nettles with my green wellington boots, my bright yellow Marigolds and my hair sticking out everywhere, the idea of writing a lifestyle blog popped into my head!
Of course I laughed it off, labeling it as sleep deprived randomness as you do. I mean who would want to read about my life? Who would take tips and hints from me? I couldn’t write a lifestyle blog surely! And yet…. the idea wouldn’t go away, it took root and started to grow in my mind and before I knew it, I was buying a domain name and tapping away on my new-to-me laptop. If you’d like to know more about what I mean by “Alternative Lifestyle” then please do go check out the page about me.
The A to Z Challenge.
To get this party started (and hopefully teach myself a bit of blogging discipline) I decided to join in with this year’s Blogging From A to Z Challenge. I didn’t know before signing up but it’s the challenge’s tenth year, so it feels really exciting to be celebrating the beginning of my blog alongside such a significant milestone! The challenge is to share a post every day throughout April (excluding Sundays – a blogger needs a break too you know!) for each letter of the alphabet. So this is my post for the letter A! If you’d like to find other writers taking on the challenge, please check out #AtoZchallenge on Twitter and Instagram or like the A to Z page on Facebook
I hope you have enjoyed today’s post as much as I have, it feels great to finally be up and running! Do make sure to pop by tomorrow to see what I’ve come up with for the letter B…… I’ll give you a clue; it’s very hairy and has four lanky legs!
Before I go…..
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I shared a post on my Instagram page recently about a how a beautiful plant I spotted in my local garden centre inspired me to think of my rough edges in a better way. If you’d like to read the post please do so here. As usual, when I have these moments of reflection, the thought grows and becomes much deeper than originally planned – so much so that I couldn’t fit it in another post on social media! I guess that’s the beauty of blogs right?
Learning from Nature.
Mother Nature is a ceaseless source of inspiration and teaching for me. I’ve learned (and continue learning) so much about the world and myself, just simply by observing Her wonderful work. That’s where the beautiful pink rimmed plant comes in. The first time I saw it, I was struck by the gorgeous green of the leaves and their delicate lighter pattern. I love leaves; I’m much more a foliage than flower kinda girl, you can see evidence of my leaf love all over my home in my houseplant choices! Anyways, I digress…..
On the morning of the post, I woke up feeling a little rough around the edges. I suffer from various chronic conditions and some days are better than others, this day being a not so good one. It’s so easy to fall into a negative way of thinking when we’re not feeling our best, am I right? As open and honest as I try to be about my health, I usually want to gloss over it or hide it/hide from it – I mean, who wants to feel vulnerable all the time?
Looking closely at the picture of the plant, you can see that the edges of the leaves are not smooth at all. They are bumpy, jagged and toothed. Does that make the plant any less beautiful or fit for purpose? Of course not! Not only do they not have a negative impact on the life of the plant, Mother Nature has painted them a fabulous and bright shade of pink! So those rough untidy edges, instead of being hidden or smoothed out, have been decorated and celebrated and repurposed for the future of the plant – after all, bumblebees love colour and will be drawn to this one to pollinate it, so it will continue to grow year after year!
What if instead of protecting or hiding or covering up your rough, prickly, painful or difficult parts you celebrated them instead? What if you could paint them a beautiful and vibrant colour, and display them proudly like the plant does? What would it be like to change something that causes you harm into something that does you good? How would it feel to be proud of your rough edges instead of being embarrassed or ashamed of them?
Some of us are really rough….
My health is not my only rough edge. For years and years I have battled against the feeling of being too much; too intense, too passionate, too quirky, too loud, too deep. People I cared about have told me I’m too much, that I just need to tone it down, that I don’t have to be “like that” all the time. For a good long while I tried to be less, I tried to cover it up and smooth out that rough edge and I pretended to be something I wasn’t. It was exhausting, made me miserable, and those people that thought I was too much? Well they still left my life anyway, no matter how I smothered my personality! Now I love that rough edge, it’s a huge part of what makes me Dee and it’s not being hidden ever again! If I could paint that edge a colour; it would be bright red, the colour of passion and blood and life and fire – and it would show others that they don’t need to snuff out their own inner flame to suit people who don’t burn the same way they do.
Maybe you’re already aware of your rough edges, or maybe you’re wondering what the heck I’m babbling on about! A rough edge can be any part of you – physical, mental or spiritual – that makes you feel uncomfortable and/or causes you to worry what other people may think of you. It’s a vulnerable edge – like an exposed nerve in a tooth cavity – that we try to protect, hide or cover up because we believe it can do us harm. At least that’s what it means for me!
Whether you know where they are or not, we all have these rough edges. And I think they can all be repainted and re-purposed – like a holistic up-cycle project! Every part of us is there for a reason, and whatever the reason is IT’S NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK! So if you have people in your life who encourage you to hide, shrink or be ashamed of parts of yourself…. well it may be time to Marie Kondo your friends list. Nobody has the right to tell you what is and is not acceptable about you!
Why not start to get comfortable with your jagged and prickly parts, instead of burying or ignoring them? Get to know them, figure out why they’re there and what they bring to your life. What colour would you paint them? How could you celebrate that part of you? How can you make peace with that rough side of yourself, and find a way to move forward with it?
I would love to hear what your rough sides are and what colours they would be after a makeover! Please do leave a comment below, and let me know what you’re now celebrating about you.
About three years ago we made the decision as a family to take our kids out of the education system. It was one of the biggest decisions we have ever made – and it turned out to be one of the best too!
There are lots of reasons for our choice, although they can all be boiled down to one core truth – the schools were failing our kids.
Our eldest is exceptionally academic; because she showed such amazing potential she was pressured, overworked and had the responsibility for the school’s league table standings put on her shoulders. She was bullied badly, and the school did nothing to protect her.
Our youngest is creative, a thinker and dreamer and problem solver. He was bullied viciously for years, again the school didn’t help. We moved him to a “better” school and they crushed him with SATS pressure.
The schools failed our kids.
And I sometimes feel like we did too; we made them go to school even when they were unhappy and scared, we listened to the teachers instead of our own children, we believed that school was the right thing. Still working on forgiving myself for it all.
Over the years we have tried many different styles and approaches to home education, trying to find a way that works best for both our young people. There are hundreds of options available out there and we tried; printed/published curriculums, online courses, private group schools, forest schooling, structured timetabling, nature based learning and on and on and on…. Until we finally decided on the unschooling method and we’ve never looked back!
At it’s core; unschooling is about freedom, respect and partnership. I do not decide what my kids will learn, they do. They learn about whatever they want to and we facilitate them; sometimes that means we buy resources for them, take them on trips, book them on courses. Sometimes it means sitting and watching a movie together, or having a big conversation over dinner, or even letting them cook dinner while we sit back!
Whatever they are interested in, we fully support them and give them the freedom to learn however and whenever they want to. We don’t have any ‘school’ hours! Some of their best learning happens late at night after we’ve gone to bed!
I know it seems strange – how can they really be learning, what about tests, how do you know what they’ve learnt if there’s no workbooks – but both kids have excelled in their education through this approach!
Currently my eldest is in college part time, studying for her English GCSE and her Level 3 Performing Arts qualification. She is about 2 years ahead of her peers in terms of academic performance, and has managed to hold her own easily in a class made up of students at least 2 years her senior.
My youngest has just been accepted onto a Computer Sciences college course, studying all manner of complicated and technical stuff (can you tell I don’t really get any of it?) as well as his Maths GCSE.
If they hadn’t been learning anything at home, they wouldn’t have had the skills and capacity to study at college level so early! The freedom to learn as they will has given them many skills; research, analysing evidence, being willing to engage with adults, self motivation and team work. Not only that, they know how to actively learn instead of waiting to be spoon fed information to remember.
All that came from being allowed to do what they want, in a supportive environment.
What do you think about alternative education? Maybe you’re a homeschooler yourself, or perhaps you are considering it? I would love to know what you think!
It’s been a hectic month for us here in the Valley! Getting back into the routines of college, work, home education and chores has been a bit of a shock after the delightfully slow days of December. Is it just me, or did January seem to last for about four months instead of one?
Today’s post is about taking a moment in time to check in with YOU. To find out how you are really doing, what you’re feeling and thinking and where you’re at right now in relation to your hopes and dreams for 2019.
I spend a lot of time asking others how they are; I know that a lot of folks ask the question but don’t really want to hear the answer, so when I ask I make a point of being around to listen. I care about people deeply! Whether I am checking in with my kids and husband, or texting a friend or a colleague – if I ask “How are you?” I actually want to know.
I also get asked a lot about how I am. Health professionals, my husband, kids, friends, acquaintances, social media contacts all want to know how I am. This usually means how is my physical health, how are my pain levels, am I very fatigued today etc. When you live with a disability you have to get used to giving lots of detailed information in answer to “How are you feeling today?”
It’s really lovely being asked how I’m getting on, so surely making time to ask myself those things is going to be a good thing – right?
Self Reflection Exercise.
The first thing I do is make myself a nice hot drink – usually a herbal tea – and I grab a notebook and pen. Then I find somewhere quiet and comfy to sit, where I won’t be distracted for at least 15 minutes. As I sit quietly and sip my tea, I start to ask myself the following questions;
How am I feeling today in my whole self?
What do I need more/less of?
What have I learned from the last month/week?*
What part of me am I thankful for?
*depends on your reflection frequency.
I write the answers and thoughts down as they come, usually using the questions as headers in my notebook and ensuring each page is dated.
When you have done your journal, do take a moment to read your responses to yourself. Pay attention to each word – try to avoid correcting spellings etc – and allow yourself to connect with what you have written, without any shame or embarrassment. It’s your life after all, to live however you see fit!
I think a really important part of checking up on our self is looking back over where we’ve been.
Perhaps you’re feeling wobbly, overloaded and drained but you can’t think why? Taking a minute to reflect back on your month, you see how you finished a huge project, worked late 12 times, had a bad cold and the dog got sick! No wonder you’re struggling!
I know it’s a silly example, but I usually find the answers to how I’m currently feeling lay in looking back.
And there you have it – a quick chat with your inner self and a spot of pure self love 😊 Getting to know yourself better will only ever lead to good things – deeper self esteem, unconditional love, grace and integrity are just a few of the benefits of living a life completely rooted in your being.
Do you practice self reflection? How do you like to go about it? Got any tips for me – I do struggle to sit still at times!
Wholly Dee 