Hello Piglets! It’s been a minute since I posted; we’ve had a lot going on – and a new addition to the family – in the last couple weeks, so I haven’t had chance to sit and write. There’ll be more on that in a later post, so keep your eyes open for that!
When it rains, we bake!
Back to today’s post; this is my easy, fail proof recipe for light and fluffy cupcakes. Honestly it really does work every single time! As with a lot of my recipes, it’s easy to customise and add different flavours and fillings to your batter, so your options are endless. So, if you want perfect bouncy cupcakes every single time then read on!
Ingredients and Equipment.
175g softened butter/margarine.
175g caster sugar.
175g self raising flour.
1.5 tsp baking powder.
3 large eggs, room temperature.
2 tbsp milk.
1 tsp vanilla extract.
1 x 12 hole muffin pan with cases.
1 large mixing bowl.
1 whisk.
2 spoons (for putting batter in cases)
Method.
Preheat your oven to 180c, 160c fan, gas mark 4 and put one of the shelves in the middle. Line your muffin pan with paper/silicone cases and set to one side.
Grab your mixing bowl and dump your butter/margarine and sugar in there. Using your whisk, beat the ingredients together until light and fluffy.
Add in your eggs one at a time, whisking them thoroughly inbetween. With your last egg, add the milk, vanilla extract and a spoonful of flour. Whisk until fully combined.
Pour in your flour and baking powder, then whisk the shit out of it! Whisk whisk whisk, until your batter is smooth and light and fully combined.
Fill your cases about two thirds full with batter, then place your tin in the oven. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until golden and well risen and a skewer test comes out clean.
Remove from the oven and allow to cool in the tin for five minutes. Turn out onto a cooling rack and leave to cool fully, before adding any frosting/toppings/fillings to fancy!
Mmmmmm cupcakes…..
The possibilities are endless.
You can add pretty much whatever variations you can think of to this basic batter mixture! For example; to make chocolate cupcakes, swap out 25g of the flour for cocoa powder. Then add chocolate chips, and some mini marshmallows, and frosting and….. you get the idea. Whatever you come up with as an idea, you can probably achieve it with this recipe as a foundation.
As always, do let me know if you have a crack at making these delicious cakes. If you’re on Instagram, please give me a follow and tag me if you share any pictures of your creations. And of course, do tell me what you think of these bouncy, fail proof cupcakes!
Hey Piglets, I hope you’re all as safe and well as you can be! I have no idea what day it is, how long we have been in quarantine or what I’m supposed to be doing today…. so what else is new? 😂 Anyways, today I wanted to write about how we’re managing the lockdown as a couple; it’s not easy to make time for each other in the chaos of teenagers, homeschooling, housework, studying and everything else but it’s something we are working really hard on. So I figured why not share our ideas, and see if you have any suggestions of your own! Sharing is caring right?
Planning is Sexy.
Okay, well maybe the act of planning isn’t going to get you hot and bothered (unless it does, in which case no judging!) but being realistic about your time and commitments is a good idea. If you know how much you’ve got going on every day, you’ll find it easier to make time for getting it on!
We have (lazy) teenage kids, three cats, a garden and a home to keep up with. Eddie has his college work, writing, art work and counselling to juggle. I am doing most of the home education stuff with Owain, as well as my own projects and writing. Plus I just signed up online to a couple of courses that I’m super looking forward to – but more on that in a future post. We’re not as busy as some folks are in the lockdown thankfully, but we do have to be careful with our time in order to make sure we can prioritise being together.
Make it work for you.
Whether your only spare moment in the day is when your baby has a long nap, or getting the kids to bed at night is when you have some breathing space – you can carve out some time for each other. And once you find that gap in the busyness of the daily grind; trust me, you’ll protect it like an angry Mama Goose!
Our protected time together looks like this;
We sit together for coffee/breakfast every morning for about 30 minutes. This is where we talk about the day ahead, anything that is bothering us or stuff we need to address. It’s a time for us to check in with each other as well as make sure we’re on the same page with kids/house/life stuff.
Every Thursday evening we have a designated “Date Night” from 7pm onwards. We take it in turns to plan this for each other on a week by week basis and it’s something we look forward to and protect every week. Even if I’m really struggling with my health, I still try to make an effort for Date Night.
Throughout the day; I make a point of giving Eddie a hug, or squeezing his arm as I pass, or a quick peck on the cheek. Physical affection is super important to him, so I try to make sure he gets lots of it!
Each evening before we do our own things (usually bed early for me, gaming or movies for him) we make sure we have a big hug and loads of kisses. If there’s been any tension or annoyance between us we sort it out fully, apologising if needed, so that peace can be fully restored again.
What is this “Quality Time” of which you speak?
It’s worth mentioning here that “quality time” is not just a euphemism for sex – come on, don’t be coy, you know what I’m talking about 😉 every one I know – especially folks with children – uses a cheeky euphemism once in a while!
Quality time means something that shows you value your partner and your relationship. This may look like a deep conversation, playing a game together, spending time holding hands on the sofa, planning an activity to do together and so on. It can be as simple as a chat in the garden over coffee, or as fancy as a candle lit bubble bath for two. It’s all about the intention, the thought and time you put into it for one another.
Backyards can be romantic too!
Of course that’s going to include sex too at some point or other; sex is an important part of any healthy romantic relationship, developing trust and intimacy between partners and strengthening the connection they share. It’s not the be all and end all though!
But we already spend all day together now, why bother?
I get it. You’re stuck at home together pretty much 24/7. You see each other now more than you have ever done before. Why make the effort to have even more time together?
It’s a perfectly valid question and the only way I can answer it is with my own experience. As you know, my health isn’t great and so my husband Eddie is my Carer as well. He helps me with everything, all day every day. He helps me get dressed, have a shower, even go to the loo. He does stuff that I can’t manage. He is brilliant. And as much as this demonstrates exactly how much he must love me, it makes it hard to maintain the “romance” part of our marriage!
Candle making was a fun, creative date!
We already spent every day together before lockdown, so we have had a while to learn how to manage it. Before we prioritised our time together, we both felt like each day was the same and our relationship began to deteriorate. We got on each other’s nerves, we found faults and nit picked and bickered. We stopped making the effort. Our sex life suffered, our emotional connection wobbled, our parenting wasn’t as great as we wanted it to be….
Making the time to be together properly felt like drawing a line in the sand for us both; it was a declaration of how important we are to one another as partners, as lovers, as husband and wife. Since intentionally spending this time together our relationship has deepened and grown so much stronger. It’s brought back the balance we were missing.
Since the Covid-19 outbreak and subsequent quarantine measures, we’ve found that this protected time together is more important than ever. Before, we would have time through most days while the kids were out at college or with their mates. Now they are here every moment of every day, and it’s made the time we can spend together feel even more precious!
17 years married and we still like each other!
I am pretty sure that the reason our marriage is so strong is because we make time for one another. Time is literally the most precious commodity in the Universe; choosing to give that time to your lover, instead of using it elsewhere, is a huge deal.
Date night silliness! Pampering is fun!
If it worked for us, I am certain it can work for you too! Whatever your circumstances – however busy you are or how hectic your home life may be – making a little bit of time to spend with your partner is possible for everyone. It will make you both feel better, which will have a positive knock on effect in every other area of your life.
Now it’s over to you; how do you make time for your relationship? Do you have any fun quarantine date night ideas for me? Maybe you’re planning to make “quality time” an important part of your schedule now? I’d love to hear from you, either in the comments below or via my Instagram @wholly_dee
Before I get into this, please let me just say; there is nothing wrong with disability/chronic illness blogs or content. I follow and read and enjoy lots of chronic illness and disabled creators online and I enjoy what they do. So when you’re reading below, please just keep in mind that there’s no shade being thrown by me!
I Am Disabled.
There, I said it. It’s the truth, it’s out there, it’s real. Like many disabled folk I have multiple complex diagnoses and my life is a juggling act of managing these conditions as well as the various side effects of medications and as yet undiagnosed conditions. It actually SUCKS.
Chronic illnesses are like Pokemon – you gotta catch em all! Seriously though, once you get labelled with one, it’s not so long until more follow until you have a whole deck of them! Currently mine are;
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E) – imagine the worst bout of flu you have ever had – you know, aching in your bones, so exhausted you can barely hold up your own head, tired just from breathing – and then imagine living with that EVERY DAY.
Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) – my right knee is agonisingly painful all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, constantly. In a nutshell; there’s been extensive trauma to my knee over the last 20 years which resulted in my brain believing it should be in pain. so even though it’s actually pretty stable now, my brain manufactures pain signals in my knee, resulting in misfiring nerves and a whole lot of suffering.
Hypermobility Syndrome (HMS) – my joints are very bendy and slippy, which causes multiple partial and complete dislocations every week. this is part of the reason my knee is such a mess!
Fibromyalgia – similar to M.E with added “bonus features” such as brain fog (forgetting how to speak, what I’m doing etc), widespread bone deep pain and swelling, sore joints, headaches and on and on. Personally, I believe Fibromyalgia and M.E are the same thing.
Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) – my heart has trouble pumping blood to the right places, often blood pools in my extremities. When I stand, my heart rate accelerates rapidly, to try pump blood to where it needs to be. This means there’s not enough of the red stuff in my brain, causing dizziness and fainting.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (c-PTSD) – I had an abusive childhood as well as many medical traumas which have all become embedded in me as trauma. Complex PTSD is not the same as the type you nay have heard of, it is extremely difficult to treat. Symptoms include flashbacks, audio and visual hallucinations, nightmares, black out episodes, insomnia, anxiety, and depression.
Slow Transit Bowel Disorder – without getting into the gory details, I can’t poop often. like once every 9 days is good for me. Yep it sucks.
Those are the diagnosed ones, my official list if you will. I’m currently under investigation for Endometriosis, Poly-cystic Ovary Syndrome, Multiple Sclerosis and heart murmurs.
Why don’t I want to write about it?
As I’m sure you can imagine, these illnesses dominate my life. As much as I refuse to be defined by my disabilities I still cannot control the variable impact they have on me day to day. I wanted to write and create and share about everything and anything in my world other than my conditions – because it really is so much more than a list of ailments!
During the last month, my health has taken a sharp downturn and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on my blog as well as thinking about what i want to achieve in the future. I don’t write regularly and the reason is because I’m trying to avoid writing about my disabilities (which affect me every single day) I’m left with little to actually write about, as well as little energy to create with!
I still believe that my life is much richer and vibrant than a dull list of medical problems and I will always seek to share all those moments and adventures, however I finally realised that I can’t write and build a successful online platform without including my health. As well as it being virtually impossible to separate the two, it’s also struck me as being disingenuous and I always strive to be honest and open.
So what can you expect from me in future?
More – more content, more creativity, more honesty, more sharing! I want to stress again – my life and my blog aren’t defined by my illnesses. I still love interior design, upcycle projects, nature and creating community and all those things plus more will still be here! There’s just going to be more than the occasional vague reference to me not feeling well, that’s all. Because I don’t occasionally feel vaguely unwell, it’s an every day battle and one I sometimes find hard to keep winning!
What about you? Perhaps you’re a disabled person yourself? Or maybe you’ve never heard of any of my diagnoses? What would you like to see from my blog/social media in future? Here’s a sneaky hint…. keep your eyes peeled for our latest colourful home creation….. coming soon!
Eddie and I are celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary this year! I know it’s a cliche, but it really doesn’t feel as though all of that time has passed. I still get weak in the knees when he smiles at me, and my tummy does that weird flip flop feeling when I see him approach. Yes, I am disgustingly in love with my man – and I’m not apologising for it! We met when I was just 16 and he was 20 – at his girlfriend’s house – and the spark was there from the beginning for us both. We had an ill fated fling and I moved away so we lost touch. Three years later there was a knock at my front door; standing in the pouring rain with a his crinkly eyed grin was Eddie! I hugged him so tight, my bare feet freezing and my clothes getting soaked and my heart full to bursting. He came in to my home, and he never left. We were married just 6 weeks later. I was 19 years old, he was 23. Nobody believed we would make it past two months – nobody except us, and we were right!
Marriage isn’t always easy.
We were very young when we got married and we both had a lot of growing up to do. We both had tumultuous childhoods that still affected us; we were both broken and trying to help each other heal, and even with the best intentions things can and do go very wrong along the way. Our first years together were not rose tinted and lovey dovey!
We had our second child when I was 21 and shortly after his birth I began to behave strangely. Things escalated rapidly and I was placed on a psychiatric ward for my own protection. I had developed puerperal psychosis a rare form of serious post natal depression and I was very very poorly. Before I was diagnosed, the illness caused me to do things I never normally would do……. things that almost cost me my marriage. In fact, when I was discharged from the hospital I had to go live in a hostel for a while as Eddie wasn’t sure what to do for our future. I was heartbroken; a constant physical ache in my chest would keep me awake at night, it would worsen whenever I heard his voice on the phone or when I went to see my children. I knew why it was happening and didn’t hold anything against Eddie at all, it just hurt so much.
I still remember the day he told me he wanted to give our marriage another try. He was standing by the fireplace and I was sat with our girl on my knee reading her a book. He looked over at me and said “I’ve been thinking, and I want you to move back in. I’m still in love with you, I can’t stop thinking about you and I want you to come home. Please will you come back?”
Since then we have had our ups and downs like any couple, but we have always stayed together. Marriage isn’t always easy – but if you both continue to choose each other over all else, there’s usually a way through any problems.
Is there a secret to a successful marriage?
The short answer is NO. Except it’s not really that simple, is it? Everybody is different; we all carry our own baggage with us and that affects our relationships with everybody around us. It’s difficult to take responsibility and ownership for your mistakes – especially when they are caused by external issues such as trauma, health struggles etc – but being willing to apologise and learn from mistakes is kind of a big deal for the health of a relationship.
I saw a shirt design a while ago, it said willing to be wrong; and as much as I think I am always right, I know I make a mess sometimes. What matters is what I do with it and how I clean it up afterwards!
I think I will write some more posts about marriage/relationships in future. Obviously I’m not an expert and don’t pretend to be; however the added challenges of being married young, having teenage kids, disability and carer/care receiver dynamics aren’t covered generally by a lot of relationship blogs I’ve read over the years!
Is there anything you would like me to include in future ponderings on relationships? Perhaps you have some advice for me – I bloody love hearing how other folks handle hurdles in their love life! Please do let me know in the comments below, or if you wish to keep your question private then please email me instead,
The planet is dying. There is literally no other way to say it; whether you believe what you read/see on the news or not, we cannot deny that things are getting out of hand and our home is in trouble. We have done this, so now we have to do better. I don’t think it’s fair to put all the responsibility on the average person (don’t get me started on disability discrimination and the plastic straw ban) as for real, lasting change to be achieved there needs to be a complete paradigm shift across the globe! However, we can all take steps to reduce our impact on the earth – and it doesn’t need to cost a fortune. Here are 5 Cheap and Easy Ways to Low Waste Living that we’ve taken on at home.
Paper Free Kitchen.
There are no kitchen rolls in my kitchen! The only paper product we use occasionally is toilet paper – because my cats are idiots who like to poop on the floor now and then. I wish I could tell you my drawers are packed full of colour coordinated, hand stitched cloths but they’re not. Here’s my cloth box to prove it! The cloths we use are inexpensive options bought from places like B&M, Home Bargains and our local market – hard wearing, easy to wash and long lasting. We grabbed a set of four cloth napkins from a charity shop a couple weeks ago for £2 too; in fact they’re probably the fanciest fabrics in the kitchen! Next time you go shopping, instead of spending a couple quid on paper for the bin, why not see how many dishcloths you can get instead?
My cloth box. Told you, it’s not very fancy!
Clean Cleaning.
Most cleaning products come in plastic bottles labelled with unpronounceable chemicals and scary warnings about your health and aquatic life. Not very eco-friendly eh? We have all used them, we probably all have them in the cupboards too. I’m not saying go and throw it all out immediately – instead work through what you have, then wash out and save your spray bottles for making your own products instead! White vinegar is literally cheaper than chips and it’s an incredible cleaning liquid. Lemon juice (yes even the kind you squeeze on your pancakes) is natural and powerful on stains, grease and it shines up stainless steel like a dream. Bicarbonate of soda (yes the one you put in cakes) is a dream cleaning ingredient! For the price of replacing just two of your usual cleaners you can buy enough vinegar, lemons and bicarb to do your whole house. Repeatedly.
Swap To Soap.
This one is easy and so cheap it’s unbelievable. making the change from using plastic bottled shower gel, hand wash and shampoo has reduced our waste massively AND the amount of chemicals in our homes/on our skin/washing down the drains. Bar soap can be easily found in most supermarkets, pound shops and the like. Shampoo bars are more and more readily available and do not need to cost a fortune either – the bar we use costs £4.50 and lasts my husband and I about 3 months. Once you’ve worked through all of your products, replace them with bars instead. Saving money and saving the planet!
Bar Soaps are beautiful and cost effective swaps for bottles!
Cans Not Bottles.
Aluminium is infinitely recyclable, whereas plastic can only be recycled once. Most drinks come in cans as well as plastic bottles; my son loves sports drinks ad we recently discovered they come in cans too! If you like fizzy drinks and that kind of thing, next time pick up a can instead. The planet (and your body) will thank you for it!
Buy Second Hand.
I’m a bargain hunter, you all know it and I’m proud to say the majority of our furniture, clothes and appliances are second hand! My daughter is a whiz at charity shop trawling, my husband and son have keen eyes that spot amazing deals at the flea market and I am always thinking of ways to make more of hat we have already. I can’t afford to buy new, ethically made clothes and furniture all the time for my family; so instead we try to give things that have been discarded/donated a new lease of life or we make our own. Charity shops are awesome places if you just have a little patience, eBay is full of second hand bargains as is Gumtree and Facebook Marketplace. It’s easier than ever to buy second hand!
A junk shop find, made over with a little paint and patience.
I know all of these things can seem a bit simple and obvious; when we were starting on our road to less waste we began by feeling completely overwhelmed and inadequate because we couldn’t afford to buy four sets of bamboo cutlery (yeah I know, daft right). Very few of us have the resources to live an Instagram-able low waste life with all the gadgets and accessories – but we can all find ways to refuse, reduce, reuse, recycle and rot in our own homes right?
Do you have any easy, cheap low waste living hacks for me? I would love to hear what tips and tricks you have come across!
Since I adopted a more plant-based lifestyle, I’ve had to go right back to basics with my baking. Believe me, there have been some absolute disasters, so bad even my sweet-toothed cat Fred wouldn’t bother with them! I’ve been hunting for the perfect vegan vanilla cupcakes recipe for ages – I got into baking years ago because of a huge love affair with the beautiful little treats – but the ones I made didn’t come out well. Heavy doughy bases, or grainy oily frosting; sometimes the cupcakes wouldn’t rise at all, sometimes they would explode but never cook off! Some of the recipes called for ridiculous ingredients that I had to scour the aisles of health food shops for, ingredients that cost a fortune and tasted vile. Would I ever eat an edible cupcake again?
After tinkering and tasting, mixing and measuring, plus a whole lot of muttering to myself and imploring the baking gods…… I struck gold! Or should I say light, fluffy yellow? The perfect Vegan Vanilla Cupcakes Recipe. A beautifully soft vanilla flavoured cupcake topped with rich – but not heavy – vanilla frosting, well risen and perfectly edible with no ridiculous ingredients and no hefty price tag. The Holy Grail of cupcakes, from which I can make most other flavours, has been found. And it’s so absurdly easy, even my kids could make them while staring at their phones and shouting at each other!
Ingredients & Method
For the cupcakes;
250g Plain Flour
200g Caster Sugar
240ml Plant Milk (I use oat milk for baking, but any is fine)
100ml Sunflower Oil
1tsp Baking Powder
1tsp Bicarbonate of Soda
1tsp Vanilla Extract
1tbsp White Vinegar (yep I know it’s weird, but go with it!)
12 hole muffin tin, lined with paper/silicone cases
Preheat your oven to 180c and move your shelf to the middle. Place all your dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl and using a fork or a whisk, mix together thoroughly then set aside. In a separate bowl or jug mix together your plant milk, oil, vanilla extract and vinegar – you need to keep stirring it until it begins to thicken up, this is going to act as the “egg” in your cakes. Once thickened up, slowly and thoroughly whisk the wet mixture into the dry. Make sure you have no clumps of flour left – ain’t nobody got time for that! Quickly portion the batter into your prepared cases, pop in the oven and bake for about 15-20 mins (depends on your oven, mine either incinerates everything or leaves it raw) until well risen and slightly golden, and they pass the skewer test. Let them cool in the tin for a few minutes, then place on a cooling rack and leave to go completely cold.
For the frosting;
570g Icing Sugar
115g Dairy Free Margarine (I love Vitalite cos it’s cheap!)
115g Vegetable Shortening (It’s like the vegan version of lard. I use TREX, but a lot of supermarkets do their own brand version)
0.5tsp Vanilla Extract
Now it’s elbow grease time – unless you have an electric mixer like me – so roll up your sleeves and flex! In a large bowl, beat the margarine and vegetable shortening until it is soft and completely combined. Next; using a sieve, sift a quarter of your icing sugar into the bowl then thoroughly beat it in. Keep repeating this process, but add the vanilla extract with the last dose of icing sugar. Check the consistency – if it’s too runny you can add more sugar, if it’s too hard add a tiny splash of plant milk – making sure it’s firm but soft and fluffy. Nobody likes tough frosting! If you want to, you can add food colouring to jazz it up, or even lightly fold in some sprinkles. Whatever, go nuts…. oh nuts would work too haha!
If you have one/want to/know how to use a piping bag to decorate the tops of your cold cupcakes. They will have a hefty amount of frosting! Then finish off with any decorations you fancy – I used vegan salted caramel chunks for mine and they were AWESOME.
Think of all the possibilities…
Once I got this basic vanilla version down, my vegan cupcake game was on fire! You can mix it up, adding different flavourings and additions to make your cupcake dreams a reality. I’m currently fantasizing about an Oreo chocolate version with an actual Oreo baked in, and chunks of the biscuit through the topping That sounds blooming orgasmic to me!
Do let me know if you decide to make your own; I’d love to hear what you think, and what inspiring variations you manage to concoct! Cupcakes are LIFE.
It’s the first day of April and the first day of my new look blog! Thank you so much for popping by; I’ve been working away on this whole re-branding of my site and trying to find my focus since the beginning of 2019, so as you can imagine this is a big deal for me. It’s taken a lot of time, energy, coffee and tantrums to make it this far – at time’s I thought I would never be able to say…. “And we’re off!”
An unlikely beginning.
The first time I thought about writing a lifestyle blog, I was standing in a field at 5am. My husband Eddie was suffering from really awful hay-fever and as a consequence, his usually loud snoring had become deafening and I hadn’t been able to sleep for a few days. So in my semi-delirious state I put my wellies on over my pajamas, popped some sharp scissors in my basket with some rubber gloves and set out to harvest Nettles for a tonic. Bending over a patch of stinging nettles with my green wellington boots, my bright yellow Marigolds and my hair sticking out everywhere, the idea of writing a lifestyle blog popped into my head!
Of course I laughed it off, labeling it as sleep deprived randomness as you do. I mean who would want to read about my life? Who would take tips and hints from me? I couldn’t write a lifestyle blog surely! And yet…. the idea wouldn’t go away, it took root and started to grow in my mind and before I knew it, I was buying a domain name and tapping away on my new-to-me laptop. If you’d like to know more about what I mean by “Alternative Lifestyle” then please do go check out the page about me.
The A to Z Challenge.
To get this party started (and hopefully teach myself a bit of blogging discipline) I decided to join in with this year’s Blogging From A to Z Challenge. I didn’t know before signing up but it’s the challenge’s tenth year, so it feels really exciting to be celebrating the beginning of my blog alongside such a significant milestone! The challenge is to share a post every day throughout April (excluding Sundays – a blogger needs a break too you know!) for each letter of the alphabet. So this is my post for the letter A! If you’d like to find other writers taking on the challenge, please check out #AtoZchallenge on Twitter and Instagram or like the A to Z page on Facebook
I hope you have enjoyed today’s post as much as I have, it feels great to finally be up and running! Do make sure to pop by tomorrow to see what I’ve come up with for the letter B…… I’ll give you a clue; it’s very hairy and has four lanky legs!
Before I go…..
If you have enjoyed this post (as well as those already available on the website) and would like to stay in touch, please take a moment to sign up for my newsletter. I won’t be bombarding you with hundreds of emails – in fact it will probably be just the odd one or two here and there – as I can get easily overloaded with vast quantities of mail in my Inbox (I have literally over 1000 unread emails just siting in there as I type this)!
If you have any burning questions, or subjects you would like me to waffle on about, please do comment below and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks so much for reading, I will see you tomorrow!
About three years ago we made the decision as a family to take our kids out of the education system. It was one of the biggest decisions we have ever made – and it turned out to be one of the best too!
There are lots of reasons for our choice, although they can all be boiled down to one core truth – the schools were failing our kids.
Our eldest is exceptionally academic; because she showed such amazing potential she was pressured, overworked and had the responsibility for the school’s league table standings put on her shoulders. She was bullied badly, and the school did nothing to protect her.
Our youngest is creative, a thinker and dreamer and problem solver. He was bullied viciously for years, again the school didn’t help. We moved him to a “better” school and they crushed him with SATS pressure.
The schools failed our kids.
And I sometimes feel like we did too; we made them go to school even when they were unhappy and scared, we listened to the teachers instead of our own children, we believed that school was the right thing. Still working on forgiving myself for it all.
Over the years we have tried many different styles and approaches to home education, trying to find a way that works best for both our young people. There are hundreds of options available out there and we tried; printed/published curriculums, online courses, private group schools, forest schooling, structured timetabling, nature based learning and on and on and on…. Until we finally decided on the unschooling method and we’ve never looked back!
At it’s core; unschooling is about freedom, respect and partnership. I do not decide what my kids will learn, they do. They learn about whatever they want to and we facilitate them; sometimes that means we buy resources for them, take them on trips, book them on courses. Sometimes it means sitting and watching a movie together, or having a big conversation over dinner, or even letting them cook dinner while we sit back!
Whatever they are interested in, we fully support them and give them the freedom to learn however and whenever they want to. We don’t have any ‘school’ hours! Some of their best learning happens late at night after we’ve gone to bed!
I know it seems strange – how can they really be learning, what about tests, how do you know what they’ve learnt if there’s no workbooks – but both kids have excelled in their education through this approach!
Currently my eldest is in college part time, studying for her English GCSE and her Level 3 Performing Arts qualification. She is about 2 years ahead of her peers in terms of academic performance, and has managed to hold her own easily in a class made up of students at least 2 years her senior.
My youngest has just been accepted onto a Computer Sciences college course, studying all manner of complicated and technical stuff (can you tell I don’t really get any of it?) as well as his Maths GCSE.
If they hadn’t been learning anything at home, they wouldn’t have had the skills and capacity to study at college level so early! The freedom to learn as they will has given them many skills; research, analysing evidence, being willing to engage with adults, self motivation and team work. Not only that, they know how to actively learn instead of waiting to be spoon fed information to remember.
All that came from being allowed to do what they want, in a supportive environment.
What do you think about alternative education? Maybe you’re a homeschooler yourself, or perhaps you are considering it? I would love to know what you think!
It’s been a hectic month for us here in the Valley! Getting back into the routines of college, work, home education and chores has been a bit of a shock after the delightfully slow days of December. Is it just me, or did January seem to last for about four months instead of one?
Today’s post is about taking a moment in time to check in with YOU. To find out how you are really doing, what you’re feeling and thinking and where you’re at right now in relation to your hopes and dreams for 2019.
I spend a lot of time asking others how they are; I know that a lot of folks ask the question but don’t really want to hear the answer, so when I ask I make a point of being around to listen. I care about people deeply! Whether I am checking in with my kids and husband, or texting a friend or a colleague – if I ask “How are you?” I actually want to know.
I also get asked a lot about how I am. Health professionals, my husband, kids, friends, acquaintances, social media contacts all want to know how I am. This usually means how is my physical health, how are my pain levels, am I very fatigued today etc. When you live with a disability you have to get used to giving lots of detailed information in answer to “How are you feeling today?”
It’s really lovely being asked how I’m getting on, so surely making time to ask myself those things is going to be a good thing – right?
Self Reflection Exercise.
The first thing I do is make myself a nice hot drink – usually a herbal tea – and I grab a notebook and pen. Then I find somewhere quiet and comfy to sit, where I won’t be distracted for at least 15 minutes. As I sit quietly and sip my tea, I start to ask myself the following questions;
How am I feeling today in my whole self?
What do I need more/less of?
What have I learned from the last month/week?*
What part of me am I thankful for?
*depends on your reflection frequency.
I write the answers and thoughts down as they come, usually using the questions as headers in my notebook and ensuring each page is dated.
When you have done your journal, do take a moment to read your responses to yourself. Pay attention to each word – try to avoid correcting spellings etc – and allow yourself to connect with what you have written, without any shame or embarrassment. It’s your life after all, to live however you see fit!
I think a really important part of checking up on our self is looking back over where we’ve been.
Perhaps you’re feeling wobbly, overloaded and drained but you can’t think why? Taking a minute to reflect back on your month, you see how you finished a huge project, worked late 12 times, had a bad cold and the dog got sick! No wonder you’re struggling!
I know it’s a silly example, but I usually find the answers to how I’m currently feeling lay in looking back.
And there you have it – a quick chat with your inner self and a spot of pure self love 😊 Getting to know yourself better will only ever lead to good things – deeper self esteem, unconditional love, grace and integrity are just a few of the benefits of living a life completely rooted in your being.
Do you practice self reflection? How do you like to go about it? Got any tips for me – I do struggle to sit still at times!
A lot of people these days are looking for a way to reduce their consumption of meat. Whether that’s for health reasons, to help the planet, or to cope with tighter budgets; campaigns such as “Meat Free Monday” and “Veganuary” are gathering a lot of support.
I think it’s GREAT to see more and more people eating less meat! It can’t be bad for us to chomp on more vegetables right? However, I do understand that cooking without meat can feel like a big challenge if you’re not used to it. And when the food budget is already tight, do you really want to risk buying ingredients for something you might not like? I know I don’t often have the spare cash to take that risk – not to mention my aversion to any form of food waste!
With all that in mind, I introduce my family’s take on Meat-Free Shepherd’s Pie. It’s filling, comforting and packed full of vegetables and goodness. I don’t use any “Meat substitute” or any weird ingredients – in fact you probably have everything you need already! It’s a great recipe for using up the veg left at the bottom of the fridge – you can even add in frozen veggies too to bulk it out further. Plus it’s great value for money, and you get a big bang for your buck.
Meat Free Shepherd’s Pie – Ingredients.
1 large onion, chopped.
2 sticks celery, chopped.
2 large carrots, chopped.
2 cloves of garlic, minced.
1- 1.5kg white potatoes, peeled and quartered.
1 x 400g tin chopped tomatoes.
1 x 300g tin beans (I used Cannelini beans, but you can use any, including baked beans. Just rinse them thoroughly and gently)
1 x 300g tin green lentils, rinsed.
150g any frozen veg e.g. peas, sweet corn etc
1 tbsp tomato puree.
2 tbsp balsamic vinegar.
2 tsp Marmite/yeast extract.
1 tbsp dried mixed herbs.
Vegetable oil for frying.
Margarine and milk for the mash – I used Soy milk and sunflower oil margarine to make mine Vegan, but any is fine.
Meat Free Shepherd’s Pie – Method.
Heat a good splash of vegetable oil in a large, deep frying pan and add your onion, celery, carrots and 1 tbsp mixed herbs. Stir fry on a medium heat until the onion starts to soften, about 5 minutes or so.
Next add your garlic with 1 tbsp of the balsamic vinegar and some salt. Give it a good stir and reduce the heat a little, then leave to cook for another 5 minutes until your vegetables are starting to soften.
Meanwhile, add your peeled potatoes to a large pan and cover with cold water. Salt liberally, cover with a lid and put on a high heat until boiling. Let them bubble away until tender, then drain and mash with your margarine and milk until thick and fluffy.
Preheat your oven to 190c and move the shelf to the middle.
Back to your pan of veggies; stir in the chopped tomatoes, tomato puree, Marmite, leftover balsamic vinegar, green lentils and beans. Fill the chopped tomato can halfway with water and add to the pan too, then season with more salt and pepper.
Simmer for about 10 minutes, then add in your 150g frozen veg (I used peas) and simmer again for another 10 minutes or so. Don’t be afraid to add splashes of water here and there if it’s getting too thick!
Pour your vegetables into a large oven proof dish and smooth out until level. Top carefully with your fluffy mashed potatoes, ensuring there’s an even layer throughout the dish. Smooth the top. Season again with salt and pepper, then pop in the oven for 20-40 minutes until bubbling and slightly crispy round the edges.
Leave to stand for about 5 minutes, just to cool slightly. It will be scalding hot inside there! Then cut into squares and serve in a deep dish. You don’t need to add anything to it as a side, but if you wanted to then some green beans or spring cabbage would be lovely with this.
There you have it! Do let me know if you decide to have a go making this for yourself – I would love to hear what you think.
Wholly Dee 